Why do I take things for granted?

It's not every day that I ponder a question that seems to hold the key to preventing much of our regrets, suffering, and anxious thoughts.

Why is it that, as time passes, I start to take for granted things that once felt like treasures, things I believed I could never lose?

Naturally, the human mind is a master storyteller, often drifting our awareness and groundedness away from the present moment. Even though everything is impermanent and it may seem futile to wonder about such things, the realization of taking things for granted unfolds in two unique ways, each manifesting differently in our lives:

1. I realize I took things for granted only after I have lost them.

2. I intentionally let go of something carelessly, and only then do I understand that I had taken it for granted.

I find taking care of plants the best habit to face the challenge of not taking things for granted, no matter how significant that thing can be.

If you stop putting work, entropy builds up faster

The nature of a system to disintegrate when no work is put into maintaining it is the essence of entropy. This phenomenon, both beautiful and cunning, often leaves me in awe. Everywhere I look, I see things disintegrating and breaking down; there is only entropy and impermanence.

Entropy is inevitable, ever-present in any system. We can only put in effort to delay its complete disintegration.

While this may seem scientific and abstract, I truly believe it's as simple as that.
Often, we assume that the simple things in our life will stay with us forever, or that there is no imminent danger lurking around the corner.

This may be trivial for non-living things, but when it comes to our loved ones and cherished belongings, life's surprises can turn into shocks.

Though we can predict the eventual end, uncertainty and confusion can build up in any human relationship, whether at work or at home. Now this doesn't mean that everything that I once treasured needs to be treasured always. 

To manage this, at least to my understanding, the best approach is to keep only what we truly need in our lives and to continually remind ourselves why we needed it in the first place.

The main motivation of human mind to have things in one's life is of the belief that it was of immense use and help in the past or present or future. There is a strong bias that we will value only the latter two more. 

Therefore, if things truly feel of no use, it is to better let go of it.

The Heisenberg uncertainty of human emotions 

In simple terms, Heisenberg figured out that its not possible to measure both position and velocity exactly at the same time.

If we can just paint an analogy of this phenomenon to human mind, I feel it is very hard for human mind to be both calm inside when making a decision for the future when everything else is chaotic on a longer time, at the same time. 

I once had a very rich personal life filled with hobbies - art, swimming, music etc. As time went on, I totally did not put in any effort to maintain them and now life has reminded me that I took what I was able to do once for granted and its hard to rebuild what once existed. 

I am sure there are also many human relationships we may have taken for granted.

Sometimes there are ways to re-cherish them, sometimes there are only learning. 

It only seems visible that this feeling may keep on happening throughout our lives and the way to handle is this to be grateful for what we have today.

What to do now?

There is one story that has profoundly impacted me the most of how to take care of some things that are very prone to breaking apart - the romantic relationships.

Marc Randolph, one of the co-founders of Netflix, had a very busy life. With so much work to do, it was easy for him to get caught up in his job and neglect other important parts of his life. But Marc knew that his relationship with his wife was very important, so he made a special rule. Every Tuesday evening, Marc set aside time just for his wife. No meetings, no phone calls, and no work. This time was reserved for them to spend together. It was their chance to reconnect, talk, and enjoy each other’s company without any distractions.

They might go out for dinner, take a walk, or just sit at home and talk. The activity wasn’t as important as the time they spent focusing on each other. This practice helped them stay close and maintain a strong relationship despite their busy schedules. Marc’s commitment to Tuesday evenings showed that even in a hectic life, it’s possible to prioritize what truly matters. By dedicating this time to his wife, he ensured that their relationship remained a top priority, helping them stay connected and happy together.

And the reason this story stuck in my heart is I had the chance to ask Marc directly when did he realize this and was it natural for him to realise this.

Its so refreshing that sometimes, just timeboxing for personal life, on a weekly basis, with genuine passion and excitement can always work just fine :)

Just because I write this, does not guarantee that I am fully aware of all things I am taking for granted at this moment. I do not know where entropy is creeping in as I write and where I am letting things fall as I write. 

But I do know, that this is inevitable - all things will break apart and fall, all things will turn chaotic as times go on. It only leads to the same realization that better to be aware that this will happen, protect what we can with what we have and accept as things fall apart.